Important Things I Know Now: (I Wish I Had Known at 20)

Important Things I Know Now

(I Wish I Had Known at 20)

This post is an outline of a presentation made to college students summarizing a number of important life lessons I have learned over many years. The audience asked me to speak on becoming successful financially. I told them that money doesn't necessarily mean happiness and contentment, but it surely does help not to have to worry about money all the time. I suggested the need to go through life making consistently good decisions in all areas of their lives. My presentation began posing the question of what an "ideal retirement" would look like and how would they get there over the next 45 years. This is the summary outline of my advice to college students:

1. Vision and a long-term game plan needed for your life (begin with the end in mind)

a. “Everybody wants to go to Heaven; nobody wants to go now.” Kenny Chesney

b. What would you want your “ideal” retirement to look like?

c. Ask yourself these questions: My retirement age? Travel? Free of debt? Financially secure? Or, will I have to work until I die?

d. Cost of the “ideal” retirement? $1MM, $2MM, $3 MM, $5MM (in today’s $s)

e. Future cost in 45 years at 2.5% inflation: $3, $6, $9, $15MM

f. Life’s ideal goals: happiness, joy, peace, contentment and an absence of “suffering,” and salvation (living and experiencing a truly blessed life)

2. Money Issues (read “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George S. Clawson, 1926)

a. Know what you don’t know and then learn from those who are successful

b. Live below your means, always. (Too many live beyond their means in constant debt)

c. Allocate and manage money wisely: Needs, Wants, Savings, Other: (tithes & charity)

d. Always save something out of what you earn. (10% suggested, pay yourself)

i. Create a dedicated savings account

ii. Rely on payroll deduction so it is automatic, if possible

iii. Leverage a 401k plan, especially if it has company matching, maximize your contribution

f. Invest wisely, determine your risk tolerance, get professional advice, Target Age funds

g. Avoid temptation, ration your wants (many small wants that add up to become big $s)

h. Avoid debt if at all possible. (DEBT = ugly four-letter word)

i. Use cash instead of plastic. You spend cash more wisely and frugally, not frivolously.

ii. Credit cards are a tool of convenience, but easy to abuse, high interest adds up

iii. Short-term gain often leads to long-term pain (credit card debt is a good example of this)

iv. Set a goal to be completely out of debt as early in life as possible (credit cards, car, loans, house)

i. Develop the attitude: “If I cannot pay cash, I don’t need it.”

j. Paying interest on a depreciating asset (like a car) is a poor investment.

i. Drive a modest reliable car while you save the equivalent of a car payment each month

ii. Pay cash, do not finance a vehicle

iii. While young, buy good, well-maintained used cars (your need is reliable transportation)

iv. A vehicle coming off of a two or three year lease is often a good consideration

v. Let some other “chump” take the hit of the high cost of depreciation in the first 2-3 years

3. Balanced Life

a. Seek balance in your life: physical, mental, and spiritual

b. Take care of your health: exercise, eat healthy, get enough rest (Tip: if it tastes good, spit it out)

c. Worry less (94% of what we worry about never happens) deal with the 6% when it happens. Typically, only 3 of 6% is withing your control. Just accept it and move on.

d. Live in the present without excessive concern for the past or the future.

e. Learn from past mistakes and then let them go

f. Be determined to derive some fun and joy from each day

g. Life is more like a marathon than a sprint, be patient and enjoy the journey

h. Your spiritual life is important, devote adequate time and attention to it

i. Why? WIIFM? God loves us and will help us along in life’s journey

ii. Develop an intimate relationship with God (God responds to those who seek Him diligently, not casually)

iii. Listen, be obedient, do your best and trust God for the rest

iv. Develop an attitude of gratitude (expect little, be thankful for all)

i. Avoid perfectionism, Learn to be content with good versus perfect or optimum, highly conscientious people can be their own worst enemy, be gentle on yourself

j. Prioritize daily (time management 101) 3Ds of time mg: Do it. Delegate it. Dump it.

i. Write down at the end of the day your top three priorities for tomorrow in rank order

ii. Vigorously pursue goal #1 at the beginning of the day.

iii. Then move on to goals 2 and 3, time permitting.

iv. Priorities will change often, it’s ok and expect it

k. Evaluate priorities in terms of (a) important vs not important, and (b) urgent versus not urgent.

i. Spend effort on things that are both important and urgent

ii. Many things seem urgent, but they are not really important.

l. Set some mid-term goals and track progress and attainment of them:

i. Quarterly and annual goals are suggested, write them down somewhere

ii. What gets measured gets done

m. Learn to say “NO” wisely. Do not over commit yourself.

i. Try to under-commit and over-deliver (do fewer things very well)

ii. Don’t procrastinate. (video games & social media are fun but waste a lot of time)

n. Learn to manage stress effectively: exercise, deep breathing, yoga, make time regularly for quiet downtime. (prayer, meditation, etc.), hypnosis aps on smart phones, differs greatly for each individual

4. Lessons from anatomy

a. Two ears one mouth: listen twice as much as you talk

b. Two hands: one to receive with and one to give with, (God will not fill a closed fist)

c. Tongue is a powerful appendage. Think before speaking: “Build Bridges, Not Walls”

5. Ancient spiritual principles to help have a blessed life

a. Karma

i. What you send into the universe (good or bad) will eventually return to you (“You reap what you sow” and "like energies attract like energies.")

ii. Helping is healing. Bless and be blessed.

iii. Get your eyes off yourself and focus on the needs of others, God will supernaturally meet your needs.

b. The Law of Attraction (The mind has creative power) You get what you focus on most. (good or bad)

i. "As a man thinks in his heart, so shall he become.” (conceive, believe, receive)

ii. Think about what you think about. Is it positive & good versus negative & bad?

iii. Focus on positives, not the negatives in life (think it and say it only if it is “good”)

iv. "Attitude gets you more altitude than aptitude.”

v. Emotions are a barometer in your life. Pay attention to them.

vi. Avoid “toxic emotions” (fear, anger, hurt, worry, jealousy, etc.)

vii. Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right either way.”

c. Forgiveness: Forgive others quickly and completely. Many consequences to un-forgiveness, mental & physical

d. Love conquers all (Bumper sticker: “Love Wins”) Love trumps evil.

i. Pray heartfelt blessings for your enemies and hostile situations. (like health, happiness, joy, prosperity, etc.) “bless those who spitefully use you”

ii. Be quick to forgive. Ongoing aner will just eat you up.

iii. Look for those who need what you have to give and then “just do it”

6. Relationships and Communication

a. Management 101: “People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

b. Build many good relationships and network a lot

c. Fortune cookie: “A smart man know everything, a wise man knows everyone.”

d. Recognize the “power of asking questions,” What would you do or suggest?

e. Email and text: Good for good news and bad for bad news.

f. Make good decisions on when best to email/text, call, Skype/Zoom, or meet face to face. (Too many people do not communicate enough face to face)

g. Remember: People make time to do what is important to them. (“Well, he’s just not that into you.”)

i. Do not fail to recognize the “red flags” in a relationship

ii. Spend your precious time with “givers” and avoid “takers”

iii. Do not expect rational behavior from irrational people.

1. 10-15% of a population are not rational

2. Expecting rationality from an irrational person will drive you crazy.

h. Choosing your mate:

i. Become the right person before seeking the right person

ii. Make a list of what you want and need in a mate for long-term happiness

iii. No one is perfect, but do not settle for too little on your list

iv. Over time and with age, your priorities on this list will change (sex, looks, etc.)

v. It helps to have a lot in common in a successful long-term relationship

Thank you for reading this post; I value your feedback. Please take a moment to go to the section below to rate and comment on this material. I hope you will consider sharing it on social media. My goal as a life coach is the help people "learn how to live a truly blessed life." My posts fall into four categories: 1) Spiritual Laws, 2) Christian Principles, 3) Servant Leadership, and 4) Life Lessons. Thanks again for reading!